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I feel that I shall never again be warm - Crossing the Central Reservation of My Imagination [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Craig L

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I feel that I shall never again be warm [16th Jan. 2009|18:25]
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[Current Location |so-called Northern Temperate Zone which is such a fucking joke right now]
[Current Mood | suicidal]

Temperature when I left home this morning: 28 degrees of frost.

I drove to work today kitted out in full arctic explorer gear, with the heater blasting away, and yet I could still feel my body's warmth draining away. Walking across the car park to the front door, a journey of less than 50 feet, it felt as if knives were stabbing into my cheeks. All the while, a feeble dying sun hung limply in a dim grey sky, refusing to rise.

Normally, I don't feel cold, but lately I have felt nothing but. God has forsaken us. Mother Nature has turned her back on us, and we shall not see her face again except in fury, hurling yet another deadly storm. Meantime, our world is a lifeless lump of ice covered rock, swathed in murk and shadow, whose very air is grit against our lungs.

I sit at my desk clutching my winter coat about me against frigid draughts which enter at will and mock our building's heating system. A mug of tea is good for about ten minutes' delicious warmth, but I've already had five, which will not do much for my efforts at sleeping tonight. I dread the journey home with the breath of death's angel to numb my flesh, feeling this unworldly chill work its way deeper and deeper into my bones, extinguishing all that clings to life and nourishes hope.

That feeling of hope is what I miss the most.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: aflaminghalo
2009-01-16 23:33 (UTC)

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That feeling of hope is what I miss the most.

I find a hot water bottle to be quite a serviceable alternative.
[User Picture]From: blipvert
2009-01-17 18:16 (UTC)

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Good grief, you're right! It is!

Who knows from whom I had acquired the ridiculous notion that hope was some sort of basic human need, without which one's very existence would be meaningless and futile. Whoever it was knew not from hot water bottles!
[User Picture]From: tb
2009-01-18 17:39 (UTC)

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Now it all becomes clear. Barack Obama is a hot water bottle for the entire country. And here I thought politicians were full of hot air...
[User Picture]From: blipvert
2009-01-18 19:20 (UTC)

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And Biden is a big itchy blanket that smells of mothballs, which no one uses and the dog sleeps in.
[User Picture]From: lyonesse
2009-01-17 04:24 (UTC)

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i got some awesome warm clothes in iceland. i walked the dog tonight in a light icelandic jacket, a polarfleece hat, sheepskin boots, and polarfleece overpants over long underwear.

i get cold really easily, and i hate it, but the technology exists!
From: speedingslug
2009-01-17 10:26 (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: blipvert
2009-01-17 17:50 (UTC)

Re: and mock our building's heating system

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Makes typing bloody unpleasant, too!
From: vorvolaka
2009-01-17 11:34 (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: blipvert
2009-01-17 17:45 (UTC)

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And yet you say you like the cold, and would prefer even colder than the weather you already get! That is just ... weird.

You actually enjoy the feeling of being on the edge of hypothermic shock? The sensation of your life force running out and your body going into shutdown turns you on? Because myself I'm having a very hard time indeed finding anything to like about this whole shivering and turning blue programme, if I didn't know better I'd actually say it sucks.
From: vorvolaka
2009-01-18 12:42 (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: galestorm
2009-01-18 14:02 (UTC)

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One of the most useful presents I received this Jul (as opposed to Christmas, which has religious overtones I'm not comfortable with) was an electric heating pad. It warms the parts that need warming, and very effectively. I have also received a full-spectrum lamp to give me light that is so dreadfully missing at this time of year in the northern parts of the world. I don't know that these are cutting down tremendously on the hopelessness that accompanies this weather and these grey skies, but they give me something to keep me busy, at least.